Haters are Haters – Great to Protect Yourself and Your Friends From Them!
“Tall Poppy Syndrome” and Success in our society can be a difficult thing at times. Most people are totally awesome and supportive of success, but I think there is that 1 out of 5 which aren’t like us. After speaking to most of my friends who are super successful (especially more than me) – all of them (and myself) have noted that as you succeed more, the HATERS love doing more to try and take back the success you have worked hard form.
Brad Burton of 4Networking UK has been a great inspiration of mine. Not in the respect of him say being more educated than myself, but he is an amazing generous man who calls things with full honesty. It may not sound very positive, BUT it’s 100% Truthful & Accurate based on sound reasoning and logic. I have watched this great man get nothing but attacked and seen him time and time again give to the community, with those “1 out of 5” just trashing him for no logical reason.
He has labelled this evil minority “HATERS” and to me it’s a great and accurate term. As per some of my previous blog, I have called them “BAD” people – but “HATERS” to me just describes them so much better. I have have haters cause me lots of havoc earlier in the year – especially when I started calling their unethical behaviour in my blog, standing up to them and not helping them anymore.
One of these haters actually hurt me quite a bit. I did nothing but invest my life into them, gave them heaps of referrals – only to find them move on from me and back-stab me to my friends. Oh well, that is life! I love Brad Burton’s way of looking at it, “They are just a hater who cares?”.
One story that I have been meaning to tell for a few weeks is great one that happened to me over the Christmas Break. One of my great friends tried to set me up with someone. I spoke to this person over Facebook, over the phone a few times and we started getting along great. We made about 3 x bookings for a date – and every day (usually that morning), she would cancel on me! I can tell you that I have never met this person, I had been nothing but nice to them – and they just weren’t being nice to me at all. Perhaps calling her a “Hater” is a bit strong, but saying that wouldn’t be an unfair comment. I eventually contacted my friend and told her I won’t be taking this any further and declined spending any more time / energy into this “Hater” who was just messing me around.
I am going pretty well these days and although the HATERS in a range of way caused me a bit of harm, I am quite over them and now on my Soap Box preaching against them. I have found that with many of my friends too, HATERS are causing them lots of harm so I hope this helps you.
Men or women – I have seen it come both ways and it’s just not on, so here are my own personally learned through pain tips:
1) HATERS ARE HATERS: They are just the scum of the earth. Manipulative, In-Direct, Bullies. They can’t be reasoned with so don’t even try.
2) STAY AWESOME: Just because people are hating you, doesn’t give you any right to hate them back. Sure, defend yourself – but always play the positive, professional and awesome game.
3) OVERCOME THE DAMAGE: When my “HATER” Friend turned on me it really hurt. Releasing that pain and learning the lesson took me a good 3 – 6 months. Get some help from a Life Coach, Counsellor, Psychologist or a Good Friend if you need it.
4) SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS: Your friends (especially if they are successful women) will be hit up by haters. By supporting them you do your friend a favour and learn more about these evil and mean people.
5) DENY HATERS ADVANTAGE: Haters generally are people who love to take and hurt others. Make sure they aren’t getting free services of you or say taking advantage of your friends.
6) STOP THE HATERS: Make sure you stop them from moving any further forward and defend yourself. Sometimes you have to be direct, sometimes you can just walk away and ignore them.
7) SEEK LEGAL ADVICE: Not in all cases, but I had one HATER backstabbing me to 5 x of my clients. I sought legal advice and hit them with a Cease & Desist. It worked nicely! Only had to do it once, but I will do it again if I need too.
8) REMEMBER MOST ARE AWESOME: Don’t let the haters cloud your view of the world. Most people are totally awesome so stay positive and don’t let a few scum-bags tarnish your fine views.
9) EXPOSE THEIR BEHAVIOR: Keep the topic alive! Like this article, keep this topic in the minds of people in the community. Make “Hating” Socially Unacceptable and stamp out this unethical behaviour.
10) FOCUS YOUR ENERGIES: A challenge for me. Defend yourself as best as you can and them move on! Haters love keeping fights going and sucking your energy. Move on and leave them behind!
I hope this helps and these lessons of mine have been learned by plenty of painful experiences. As Entrepreneurs and Small Business Owners I think this is even more important!
Have a great day or night Everyone and thank you for the read!
Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and Man who loves Awesome People!
2 Responses
Great article Ed, and really complements the comment you made yesterday in your workshop how we can come across people who are in the same line of work we are, and rather than seeing an opportunity to partner up and grow together, they see us a threat… even though it’s likely that we have different niches.
Hater’s behaviours says much more about them then anyone else. Stay awesome.. and we’ll be ok..
Thank you so much Manni for you great comment and it’s highly appreciated. To a point (as Professional Service Providers) our skills overlap, but I think it takes a great deal of integrity and maturity to be straight up with people and explain the strengths and limits of your knowledge. My view is that if people are super competitive (like I used to be which sucked – but I made myself get over it quickly) it’s a sign more of someones own issues and lack of belief in themselves.
Great point too, I think haters are stupid enough to think that nobody knows what they are up too. Of course people know that they are haters. The trick is that “Hating” is a choice and those haters need to lift their game and stop lowering everyone elses performance because they suck.
Thank you Manni! Great post as always 🙂