Happy or Sad? Good or Bad? Poor or Rich? Those stressful moments and those critical moments of choice tend to set the flow of our lives and our big results!
I have heard many times the cliche “You Choose to Be Happy”. To be straight up with you, for some years I didn’t quite believe it and interpreted it as “Rha Rha” speak. I am hardly a negative person or anything – in fact most consider me quite positive and with my own Post-Government Trauma it took me many years of Self Development and thinking to overcome it and get to the point I am at today.
Even though I did disregard it for some time, as I became not just older – but “Wiser” I found this to be a very true point worthy of discussion. Where I decided to prove it to myself was during some of my rough times in 2013 Relationship wise.
My old fiance of years one day called it quits on me with the “I don’t love you anymore Ed” type of line. It was completely devastating and for the first week – it was very painful and I was very glassy about things as I was not only dealing with the shock – but working out where my Awesome Cat Pandy and I were going to live and start our new life. I am great friends with this woman today, her honesty is amazing and that stressful moment was the time I made some massive life changing choices for the better!
I was also aware that everyone was watching me too. As not only a Marketing Mentor but also a prominent leader in 4Networking – even though many were supportive, I knew the critical eyes of “Well Edward preaches his positivity all the time – let’s see how he handles this” judgement was upon me.
And fair enough too! I do run around town telling people to deal with their issues, become more positive and the like and it was time to “Walk my own talk” and prove it. In that very hurtful and lonely times for me – I did exactly the headline of the article and:
– Decided to use it as a positive, chose to be happy and use the experience to enrich my life.
So I started working out, going out, making new friends, dating, working harder on the business, moved out and got right into my new life. There were many challenges to come, but I faced them with a much more positive and spiritual mindset.
My bank account not only thanked me – but “Choosing to be Happy” and using this “Negative Experience” as a motivator to “Start my new life” was a brilliant thing and I would not hand back my “Bad Luck” for anything. It was great walking my own talk and proving that I am a man of my word.
In speaking to my awesome friend Martha Arifin who gets this article dedication we have both had an amazing 2013 and start to 2014. We have complete trust for each other and we have commented on people taking advantage of us during the year. Be it with unpaid invoices, using us for information, free consulting, underpaying us, lying to us etc etc – when you are in leadership positions it sure is rewarding, but you get a lot of people trying to cut you down and take total advantage of you (those BAD people I love talking about!).
We are over much of our hurt and now our discussion has been more “Why does this happen?”, “Why do people make these destructive choices?” and “When did it happen?”. The violins have been put in away and we have been genuinely interested the mechanics of why people do this – especially when their hurtful vendetta’s cost them money through destroying their reputation and people refrain from using their services or hiring them to begin with.
Several people I considered close friends did turn on me in 2013 which was a painful experience and what was interesting was that it wasn’t just me. They turned on lots of people at once, destroyed their reputations in their network and worse for themselves – hurt their business commercially and no doubt created a situation they would probably come to regret for years to come.
What Martha and I came to realize was that these people just didn’t “Wake Up” that morning and choose to attack Martha and I and destroy their lives. At some point (in one case we could trace it back to 6 months earlier) the perpetrators of these social crimes made some big decision to gain what they thought was success through taking advantage of others, doing less work and probably manipulation of others to achieve their objectives.
Talking other awesome people such as Kylie Mullins, Martha obviously, Simona, Grant Dempsey, Edward Wright and some of my buddies – when they were in these situations they often chose to succeed through working harder, doing a better job and supporting others.
The perpetrators over time (and this was incredibly obvious to many of us) would become more reclusive, unhappy, sadder, aggressive, isolated and more hostile. This of course is not a great move when you are networking – as the name of the game is to be well liked so you get hired and make more money.
I found this quite sad – people I considered friends (even though they did do me harm) hurting themselves is not a great thing to see, but it was their choice!
They made their choice to be unhappy, focus on lack, take advantage of others and ultimately become sad. As we judge people’s intent by their actions – many would consider them BAD people over time, creating a situation where no one wins.
Looking back on this, I am very glad when my fiance woke up that morning and decided to tell me they don’t love me and move on – I made the right choice to go down the good path by changing my life for the better. I even decided to become more “Trusting and Loving” after that experience – as it reminded me of the transience of life so I wanted to enjoy every moment that bit more.
I could have very easily have said “People are this” and “I can’t trust anyone” and “The World Owes me” and walked the hell paved path my old friends who turned on me did. But I didn’t and I consciously chose to be happy in this moment of distress.
If you are reading this article and you KNOW you aren’t walking the right path – please don’t think I am having a shot at you. If anything I have done that in previous parts of my life so I have blood on my hands too. May I invite you to have an objective look at things and make a decision right now to do the right thing and help your fellow man. Anything can be turned around and people can be very forgiving when we take responsibility to change our lives.
If you are choosing to be HAPPY and AWESOME right now, may I give you a virtual high five and please keep on the path! Now my life is rocking I have said to myself that I must stay this great path and continue my awesome business success.
As for me, I love being happy and it’s great knowing that it’s a choice. Sure, life does suck at times – however it is a CHOICE to be happy in the moments of distress and use it as an opportunity to change your life and others for the better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article and keep up the great work out there!
Love and respect from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and Persian Guy who likes being Happy!
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